Humor

And On That Bombshell

Inside the Madness and Genius of Top Gear

Author: Richard Porter

Publisher: Orion

ISBN: 1409164756

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 7668

I was Top Gear's script editor for 13 years and all 22 series. I basically used to check spelling and think of stupid gags about The Stig. I also got to hang around with Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. It didn't feel like something you should get paid for. From the disastrous pilot show of 2002 to the sudden and unexpected ending in 2015, working on Top Gear was quite a rollercoaster ride. We crossed continents, we made space ships, we bobbed across the world's busiest shipping lane in a pick-up truck. We also got chased by an angry mob, repeatedly sparked fury in newspapers, and almost killed one of our presenters. I realised that I had quite a few stories to tell from behind the scenes on the show. I remembered whose daft idea it was to get a dog. I recalled the willfully stupid way in which we decorated our horrible office. I had a sudden flashback to the time a Bolivian drug lord threatened to kill us. I decided I should write down some of these stories. So I have. I hope you like them. And now, a quote from James May: 'Richard Porter has asked me to "write a quote" for his new book about the ancient history of Top Gear. But this is a ridiculous request. How can one "write a quote"? Surely, by definition, a quote must be extracted from a greater body of writing, for the purpose of illustrating or supporting a point in an unrelated work. I cannot "write a quote" any more than I could "film an out-take". 'Porter, like Athens, has lost his marbles.'
Humor

And On That Bombshell

Inside the Madness and Genius of TOP GEAR

Author: Richard Porter

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1409164756

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 7646

I was Top Gear's script editor for 13 years and all 22 series. I basically used to check spelling and think of stupid gags about The Stig. I also got to hang around with Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. It didn't feel like something you should get paid for. From the disastrous pilot show of 2002 to the sudden and unexpected ending in 2015, working on Top Gear was quite a rollercoaster ride. We crossed continents, we made space ships, we bobbed across the world's busiest shipping lane in a pick-up truck. We also got chased by an angry mob, repeatedly sparked fury in newspapers, and almost killed one of our presenters. I realised that I had quite a few stories to tell from behind the scenes on the show. I remembered whose daft idea it was to get a dog. I recalled the willfully stupid way in which we decorated our horrible office. I had a sudden flashback to the time a Bolivian drug lord threatened to kill us. I decided I should write down some of these stories. So I have. I hope you like them. And now, a quote from James May: 'Richard Porter has asked me to "write a quote" for his new book about the ancient history of Top Gear. But this is a ridiculous request. How can one "write a quote"? Surely, by definition, a quote must be extracted from a greater body of writing, for the purpose of illustrating or supporting a point in an unrelated work. I cannot "write a quote" any more than I could "film an out-take". 'Porter, like Athens, has lost his marbles.'
Sports & Recreation

The Man in the White Suit: The Stig, Le Mans, The Fast Lane and Me

Author: Ben Collins

Publisher: HarperCollins UK

ISBN: 0007331703

Category: Sports & Recreation

Page: 352

View: 790

The Stig gets his kit off and reveals how he came to be Top Gear's iconic racing driver and so much more - including what it's like to thrash an Aston Martin DBS, train for the Army and face the terror of Jeremy Clarkson's underwear...
Biography & Autobiography

Notes from the Hard Shoulder

Author: James May

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 0753520788

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 224

View: 5102

Top Gear presenter and columnist for the Daily Telegraph James May brings together another brilliant collection of his most controversial and humorous writing. From tales of motoring adventures through India, Russia and Iceland, to classic articles on essential subjects such as driving songs and haunted car parks, these gems from the number one car connoisseur will take readers on a motoring journey that will amuse and entertain in equal measure.
Biography & Autobiography

As You Do

Adventures With Evel, Oliver, And The Vice-President Of Botswana

Author: Richard Hammond

Publisher: Weidenfeld & Nicolson

ISBN: 0297858149

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 272

View: 3952

The life and times of the No.1 bestselling author of ON THE EDGE. The wry, honest and often hilarious chronicles of a very brave and clever TV presenter, Arctic Explorer and general drawer of the Short Straw. As one third of the BBC's Top Gear team, Richard Hammond's year since his near-fatal accident has been full of stunts and drama. From a race to the North Pole (with skis and dog-sled) to a journey through Botswana in a car named Oliver, and a seventeen-mile run through floods to his Gloucestershire home, in order to get to his daughter's birthday party, the year has been eventful, to say the least . . .With his boundless optimism in the face of certain failure, Richard Hammond has become one of our funniest writers about a life (and a job) which constantly present a challenge.
Games & Activities

Top Gear Quiz Book

Author: Matt Master

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1849905851

Category: Games & Activities

Page: 544

View: 4185

A compendium of fiendishly difficult automotive quizzes and puzzles. Believe it or not, but behind the mayhem, mishaps and general buffoonery, Top Gear is built on a solid foundation of knowledge about all things automotive. But the question remains, how much of a fan are you? Packed full of questions on all aspects of motoring trivia, from F1 and supercars to ill-fated attempts at converting caravans into airships, The Top Gear Quiz Book is the ultimate test of knowledge and nerve. Play on your own or in teams to answers, questions and solve puzzles on a range of subjects, and establish once and for all whose automotive knowledge reigns supreme.
Biography & Autobiography

The Stig

The Untold Story

Author: Simon du Beaumarche

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1448141079

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 320

View: 2285

Who is The Stig? Where did he come from? Why does he never speak? To answer these questions, award-winning biographer Simon du Beaumarche spent a year chasing The Stig and talking to those closest to him, including Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May and leading figures from Formula 1, music, movies and the military. What he discovered is an explosive story of intrigue, influence and a sensational conspiracy that seeks to hide the truth about one of the 21st century’s greatest icons. Get behind the visor of the man, the myth, the driver, the legend, THE STIG. This book contains adult humour and some themes that may be unsuitable for children.
Humor

The World According to Clarkson

The World According to Clarkson

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141901357

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 9204

Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works - and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that: • Too much science is bad for our health • '70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of • Hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever • We must work harder to get rid of cricket • He liked the Germans (well, sometimes) With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing . . . , For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Carscan be downloaded on the App Store.
Sports & Recreation

Top Gear: Epic Failures

50 Great Motoring Cock-Ups

Author: Richard Porter

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 144814258X

Category: Sports & Recreation

Page: 128

View: 1026

Designing and making cars is an expensive thing to do. So is racing them. All told, the car business spends billions every year and with such vast sums at stake you’d think the people involved wouldn’t give desk space to Captain Cockup. Sadly, you would be wrong. Every department in every car firm and motorsport operation is capable of complete and abject failure, and on a surprisingly regular basis. Which is what this book is about. You see, Top Gear knows a thing or two about embarrassing mistakes, as anyone who watched our India special will know. The truth is, for many years Top Gear has also regarded failure as funny. Where other television programmes edit out the moment where the presenter falls over or slams their hand in a door, Top Gear gleefully leaves it in. So who better to take you on a gentle canter through 50 of the car world’s biggest and most glorious failures? That’s right, it’s Top Gear. Who else did you think? If you want this sort of stuff from Countryfile you might be in for a wait.
Performing Arts

Ambitious But Rubbish

The Secrets Behind Top Gear's Craziest Creations

Author: Richard Porter

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1849905037

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 127

View: 6524

Ambitious but Rubbish reveals the off-camera secrets behind some of Top Gear's most memorable creations. From the challenge of turning a Reliant Robin into a rocket and the genesis of the Hammerhead-i Eagle Thrust electric car to the complexities of building a caravan airship and the inspiration for destruction-testing a Toyota Hilux, this book is packed with the previously untold stories behind dozens of classic TV moments. Top Gear has never shied away from trying to answer questions no one has even thought to ask. Questions like 'Can you make a convertible people carrier?', 'Can you cross the Channel in a pick-up?' and 'Can you turn a combine harvester into a snow plough?'. Ambitious but Rubbish reveals how those insane ideas came about with remarkable tales of ingenious invention and idiotic engineering. This book is essential reading for any Top Gear fan and a terrific insight into the creation of the world's biggest car show. It's also a terrifying window into the minds of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. Don't say you weren't warned about that last one.
Humor

Crap Cars

Author: Richard Porter

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

ISBN: 1582346380

Category: Humor

Page: 111

View: 9077

Offers a window into the vanity and silliness of almost every decade as expressed by the ultimate status symbol of the car, showcasing the cheapest, tackiest, and most mechanically inept vehicles built from the 1960s to the 1990s.
Transportation

How to Drive

Real World Instruction and Advice from Hollywood's Top Driver

Author: Ben Collins

Publisher: Chronicle Books

ISBN: 1452154104

Category: Transportation

Page: 272

View: 4467

Here's the ultimate guide to being the best—and safest—driver possible. And an absolute must for everyone with a learner's permit. Former Top Gear Stig and professional driver Ben Collins shares expert skills culled from a twenty year career as one of the best drivers in the world, famous for racing in the Le Mans series and NASCAR, piloting the Batmobile, and dodging bullets with James Bond. Refined over thousands of hours of elite-level performance in the physics of driving, his philosophy results in greater control and safer, more efficient and fun driving for all skill levels.

How to Land an A330 Airbus

And Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man

Author: N.A

Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.

ISBN: 1402269579

Category:

Page: 258

View: 8984

""His tongue-in-cheek technical explanations here will have you howling with laughter ... ""--Daily Telegraph After being given yet another pointless ""man manual"" that told him fifty ways to tie a bow tie in under thirty seconds, James May, star of the international TV phenomenon Top Gear, was certain guys needed a different kind of book. This book, in fact. He reckons there are nine vital things that a true man should be able to do. Not stuff you can download from the Internet, but really important things.
Humor

As I Was Saying . . .

The World According to Clarkson

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 1405924160

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 2270

As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Biography & Autobiography

Or Is That Just Me?

Author: Richard Hammond

Publisher: Weidenfeld & Nicolson

ISBN: 0297860615

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 352

View: 9213

More antics from the much-loved TOP GEAR presenter, and the No.1 bestselling author of ON THE EDGE. "There is, I discovered, a technique to performing a low-rent, comedy motorcycle jump with a bad hip joint following a low-speed fall off a horse on to your wife's Land Rover keys..." More of the wry, honest and often hilarious chronicles of Richard Hammond - TV presenter, adventurer and general drawer of the Short Straw. Continuing where AS YOU DO left off, OR IS THAT JUST ME? focuses on just a few of the many hair-raising stunts, expeditions and encounters experienced by Richard Hammond over the last eventful year.
Humor

Round the Bend

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0718158423

Category: Humor

Page: 432

View: 8883

Jeremy Clarkson gets really riled in Round the Bend What's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you? This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he: • Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs' Home • Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world • Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested • Argues that washing a car is a waste of time Funny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best. Round the Bend is a collection of Jeremy's motoring journalism from his column in the Sunday Times. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Biography & Autobiography

On The Edge

My Story

Author: Richard Hammond

Publisher: Weidenfeld & Nicolson

ISBN: 0297858157

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 320

View: 1486

Gripping account by Richard Hammond of life before and after his terrifying high-speed car crash. Richard Hammond is one of our most in-demand and best-loved television presenters. In September 2006, he suffered a serious brain injury following a high-speed car crash. ON THE EDGE is his compelling account of life before and after the accident and an honest description of his recovery, full of drama and incident. An adrenalin junkie long before his association with Top Gear, Richard tells the story of his life, from the small boy showing off with ridiculous stunts on his bicycle to the adolescent with a near-obsessive attraction to speed and the smell of petrol. After a series of jobs in local radio, he graduated to television and eventually to Top Gear. His insights into the personalities, the camaraderie and the stunts for which Top Gear has become famous, make compulsive reading. It was whilst filming for Top Gear that Richard was involved in a high speed crash, driving a jet-powered dragster. His wife Mindy tells the story of the anxious hours and days of watching and waiting until he finally emerged from his coma. In an extraordinarily powerful piece of writing, she and Richard then piece together the stages of his recovery as his shattered mind slowly reformed. The final chapter recounts his return home and his triumphant reappearance in front of the cameras.
Biography & Autobiography

The Top Gear Story - The 100% Unofficial Story of the Most Famous Car Show&… In The World

Author: Martin Roach

Publisher: John Blake Publishing

ISBN: 1857829662

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 296

View: 4578

From humble beginnings as a 1970s motoring show, Top Gear has achieved world domination. Reaching a peak in the 1990s thanks to presenter Jeremy Clarkson, the original series faced the axe in 2001 - but Clarkson and producer Andy Wilman successfully pitched a new format to BBC bosses and Top Gear returned to become the irreverent, funny and often controversial show we now know and love. The addition of Richard Hammond and James May completed the Top Gear dream team and ratings soared as viewers tuned in to see the latest Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, arguments over the Cool Wall and Power Laps by the mysterious Stig.Recent series have been defined by their madcap challenges - with predictably hilarious results. Hour-long specials such as the 1000-mile journey across Africa in cars bought for only ?1500, and a race to the magnetic North Pole in which Clarkson and May became the first people to drive a motor vehicle to the Pole, have cemented Top Gear's reputation as much more than just a motoring show. But the show's most shocking moment came in 2006, when Hammond suffered serious head injuries while driving a Vampire turbojet drag racing car at over 300mph.This is the full story of the unstoppable rise of Clarkson, Hammond, May and The Stig - and how they created one of the most famous and best loved TV programmes of the 21st century.
Television personalities

The Top Gear Years

Author: Jeremy Clarkson

Publisher: Michael Joseph

ISBN: 9780718176860

Category: Television personalities

Page: 416

View: 3601

We know all about the world according to Clarkson. In a series of record-breaking bestsellers Jeremy has revealed it to be a puzzling, frustrating place where all too often the lunatics seem to be running the asylum. But in The Top Gear Years, we get something rather different. Top Gear was once just a television programme about what was probably still known as 'motoring'. Top Gear magazine arrived in 1993. And that went well. Then, ten years ago, at a former RAF aerodrome in Surrey, Jeremy and his friends built a wold that was rather more to his liking: it was called Top Gear HQ. And Top Gear HQ turned out to be to Jeremy what the jungle was to Tarzan: the perfect place to work and play. But they didn't stop there. With their little corner of the commuter-belt properly sorted out, Jeremy and the boys had a crack at the rest of the world. Soon Top Gear Live was charging around the globe with the subtlety of a mid-seventies rock tour and far-flung outposts were established from North America to China. Five hundred million viewers later, there was an empire of petrol-headed mayhem upon which the sun never set. And all along Jeremy was writing about it, Here are the fruits of his labours: the cars, the high jinks, the pleasure and the pain. Brilliantly written and laugh-out-loud funny, The Top Gear Years is Clarkson at his pithy, provocative, hilarious best.
Performing Arts

The Big Book of Top Gear 2010

Author: Richard Porter

Publisher: Bbc Publications

ISBN: 9781846078248

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 127

View: 4507

Featuring all the best bits from the 2009 annual plus tonnes of new features, The Big Book of Top Gear 2010 will be a powerful force to match that of the TV show. There'll be more juicy revelations about The Stig, the next instalment in the Bigglesmay saga, behind the scenes gossip from the Top Gear set, supercars, retrocars, concept cars, crap cars, and plenty more jokes at the expense of Jeremy Clarkson. You'll get the lowdown on all the new fastest laps, the best and worst of the new cars, and all the madcap adventures featured in the new series, including the presenters' return to the US to road-test a new generation of American muscle cars, and a potentially ill-conceived roadtrip through Vietnam. We can only imagine what Clarkson et al got up to. You thought the Top Gear phenomenon couldn't get any bigger - it just did.