A man walks into a bar ... Ouch! Everyone has their own favourite man-walks-into-a-bar joke. This is a collection of the best: the old favourites, the most stupid, the funniest, the brain benders, the politically incorrect, the great puns and the really, really bad puns.
Be the life of the party with this ridiculous and definitely-not-for-kids joke book. Includes knock-knock-jokes, one-liners, puns, and more hilarious jokes. Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime
Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down (the book has a 'world's worst jokes' section), this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need. What do you call an eskimo chav? Innuinnit What did the zen student say at the hamburger stand? Make me one with everything What's Irish and lives in the garden? Paddy O'Furniture
Man Walks Into A Bar 2 is the second volume of the hugely popular and hilariously funny joke book series. A one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down, this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need. Including such gems as the following: Why have elephants got big ears? Because Noddy won't pay the ransom. A magic tractor is driving down a country road and turns into a field. An amnesiac walks into a bar. 'Do I come here often?' I went to a book shop and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. How do you know when you're a pirate? You just arrrrrggghh.
WINNER OF THE INTERNATIONAL MAN BOOKER PRIZE 2017 The setting is a comedy club in a small Israeli town. An audience that has come expecting an evening of amusement instead sees a comedian falling apart on stage; an act of disintegration, a man crumbling, as a matter of choice, before their eyes. They could get up and leave, or boo and whistle and drive him from the stage, if they were not so drawn to glimpse his personal hell. Dovaleh G, a veteran stand-up comic – charming, erratic, repellent – exposes a wound he has been living with for years: a fateful and gruesome choice he had to make between the two people who were dearest to him. A Horse Walks into a Bar is a shocking and breathtaking read. Betrayals between lovers, the treachery of friends, guilt demanding redress. Flaying alive both himself and the people watching him, Dovaleh G provokes both revulsion and empathy from an audience that doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry – and all this in the presence of a former childhood friend who is trying to understand why he’s been summoned to this performance.
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field. What kind of cheese can hide a horse? Mascarpone. What about the red ship and the purple ship that collided at sea? Over one hundred sailors were marooned. Did you hear about the paranoid vegetarian? He always feared the wurst. A blonde Essex girl walked into a bar with an Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman, and started to change the lightbulb. The barman asked, 'Is this some kind of joke?' The third in the bestselling series of hilarious joke books - packed full of every kind of joke to make you laugh until your sides split. From elephants to mothers-in-law, priests to chickens, 'knock knock' to 'doctor, doctor' and much more besides, A Man Walks into a Bar 3 contains over 2,500 great new gags. Even Queen Victoria would be amused.
What would you do if you met a rabbit in a bar? Hilarious jokes and cartoons about drunk and sober alcoholics, all from AA members. These appeared in Grapevine up until 2009. The book includes a special chapter devoted entirely to Grapevine's beloved and hapless cartoon character Victor E.
Here’s an accusation – Sherlock Holmes never deduced anything. When it comes to language, it all depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is. And one for the existentialists – you haven’t lived until you think about death all the time. Daniel Klein and Thomas Cathcart take philosophy to task with flair and gusto in this wise and hilarious treasure of a book. Lively, original, and powerfully informative, Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar... is an irreverent crash course through the great thinkers and traditions. It’s philosophy for everyone, from the curious layperson to the professor who’s seen it all. Klein and Cathcart have the knack of getting to the core of an issue in a crystal clear line, meaning there’s more room for jokes – good jokes, clever jokes, jokes that’ll have you laughing so hard the people nearby will shoot you strange looks. It’s the philosophy class you wish you’d had and finally, it all makes sense!
When George Washington bade farewell to his officers, he did so in New York's Fraunces Tavern. When Andrew Jackson planned his defense of New Orleans against the British in 1815, he met Jean Lafitte in a grog shop. And when John Wilkes Booth plotted with his accomplices to carry out an assassination, they gathered in Surratt Tavern. In America Walks into a Bar, Christine Sismondo recounts the rich and fascinating history of an institution often reviled, yet always central to American life. She traces the tavern from England to New England, showing how even the Puritans valued "a good Beere." With fast-paced narration and lively characters, she carries the story through the twentieth century and beyond, from repeated struggles over licensing and Sunday liquor sales, from the Whiskey Rebellion to the temperance movement, from attempts to ban "treating" to Prohibition and repeal. As the cockpit of organized crime, politics, and everyday social life, the bar has remained vital--and controversial--down to the present. In 2006, when the Hurricane Katrina Emergency Tax Relief Act was passed, a rider excluded bars from applying for aid or tax breaks on the grounds that they contributed nothing to the community. Sismondo proves otherwise: the bar has contributed everything to the American story. Now in paperback, Sismondo's heady cocktail of agile prose and telling anecdotes offers a resounding toast to taprooms, taverns, saloons, speakeasies, and the local hangout where everybody knows your name.